Soul Mates

Folklore claims that when a soul descends to Earth it splits in two, each half inhabiting a separate body. These two people are forever linked and will never be complete until they find the other half.

Those who believe in reincarnation (and there are many) believe that a soul mate is someone with whom a person has shared other life times.

I have never felt that I had a soul mate. However, I once had an unusual experience that left me wondering.

I was pregnant with my second child and I had gone to the clinic downtown. I was huge and miserable as it was late August and hot as only Texas can get! I was waddling down a sidewalk and coming towards me was a young man about my same age. He looked to be white, was tall, medium build and had dark brown hair and brown eyes. As we were about to pass each other our eyes connected and for some reason we each simultaneously said "Hey!" as if we knew each other. I got the strangest feeling. My heart felt elation as if I had just found something that I had been missing for a long time.

He spoke first. He said, "I know you." I said, "I think I know you too." So we asked each other our names. His was Jesse. I didn't know any Jesse, had never known any Jesse and up to this day have only known one other Jesse, a boy in my 5th grade class, but his name was really Jesus.

He looked at me (at my huge belly) and said something like "I see you're married?" I wanted to say "NO! I'm not." I didn't want him to leave because I had this overwhelming fear that I would never see him again and it made me so sad. But, he just smiled and said that he thought I was someone he knew. I just smiled and nodded. He walked away and I started to go, but turned to see him again. I caught him turning to look at me several times, and the last time he stopped, turned and stood looking at me for a while, then he smiled and waved and didn't look back again.

In my heart I feel that he was someone who belonged in my life. I have never felt that again. I think he was my soul mate and we found each other at the wrong place, wrong time.

Maybe the soul mate is someone you connected with in a previous life. Someone you look for in your present life. You might find that someone, or you may go through your entire life with a feeling that something is missing.

Some people think that your soul mate is that special someone you have much in common with. I don't see how that can be as we have a lot in common with many people. But if that is the way it is, then this person should be someone who is your equal in every way. It is someone who enriches your life and makes you a better person in every way. It is a person whom you never doubt and can trust to the death. -- It is never someone who changes you for the worse. That is just a bad companion, no matter how much you may love or desire that person.

We all think at one time or another that the person we fall in love with is "the one." The problem is that in our lifetime we can, and most likely will, fall in love several times, with different people. There are no guarantees in life and love. Sometimes, we have a fantasy in our heads of what we want from a lover, or a relationship and we try to mold the person we're with into that ideal, that illusion. Unfortunately, the other person has their own fantasies, their own illusion to fill. You are both working at making the fairy tale come true for yourselves and that's when conflicts arise.

If the person you fall in love with is truly your 'soul mate," meaning that you believe that person is the one whom you will love and want to spend the rest of your life with forever, you should only feel a true sense of belonging. You should never have doubts, nor should you ever try to change or mold the other person to fit your illusion, your fantasy. It's not fair to that person to want them to be someone they are not.

Life is too short to waste trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. If you come to the sad realization that you are not satisfied or happy in a relationship, cut your losses before you become embittered and begin to tear down the castle of your own making. Agree to disagree and remain friends. Some people are fortunate to find that right one, but don't be discouraged if your fairy tale Princess or your Prince Charming turns out to have warts. No one is perfect, but no one should make you feel miserable for any amount of time.

If there are children involved, make sure you tell them they have no fault in the split and that they will always be loved and taken care of.

Never, ever use your children as weapons against one another. That is emotional abuse. Your problems are yours. They had no hand in creating your problems so don't make them suffer the consequences of your decisions. Don't ruin their lives because using them as weapons will scar them forever emotionally.

May you find that special someone that will rock your world forever. But make sure you live in the moment and in reality.